It's a little over a month since I returned from Thailand and I have been plunged into the depths of my second year of university. Right now, I'm finding it incredibly overwhelming. The gap between first and second year is a massive leap and I was completely unprepared.
With looming assignments and an infinite amount of work, I've started to question whether university is really for me... I have never been this unmotivated at the start of term and it's completely baffling me! I love my course, my teachers are supportive and I have made some amazing friends. So why am I so unhappy?
I'm not sure what it is, whether it's the fact that I find living/studying in Bath boring, I don't seem to connect very well with most of the people on my course or maybe it's just the overwhelming amount of work we have been set.
|The only good thing about long commutes are sunrises...|
"If you hate it so much, why don't you just drop out?" I feel ya but as much as I hate to admit it I am slowly learning more life skills as I continue through uni. With so little contact time, (I only have 10 hours of lectures over 3 days.) I am left with a lot of free time with which I have to balance the four most important things in my life. Studying, work, Charlie and my friends. And oh my gaaaahd, this is so much easier said than done! Last year I managed to keep up with working 20 hours a week, seeing Charlie and having time for my friends whilst keeping on top of all my work and getting solid grades throughout the year. But as life goes on, the to do list grows longer, work becomes harder and time becomes much more limited and finding a balance is crucial. If it wasn't for attending university I would have to learn this valuable life skill at a later and more crucial time in my life.
|The monstrosity that is called 'Clarissa'|
Having these difficulties has also made me realised how truly lucky I am to be surrounded by people that love, care and support me. I am the worst person at procrastinating, it really doesn't take much for me to get distracted and now whenever Charlie is at my house, he literally forces me to work. My Dad especially has been incredible, I burst into tears in front of him completely randomly and started gushing about how much I hate university, he didn't look at me as if I was crazy, he didn't get angry, he gave me the best advice he could possibly give and made me so rationally. I could not be more grateful.
Well that's a little insight into my thoughts at the moment. Hopefully after my assignments have been handed in, I'll be able to do more fun stuff and write about that instead.
But until then, TTFN!